Sunday
TRICK-OR-TREATING MAN WAS REBUFFED AT HOME OF DECIDED VOTER: 'SORRY SENATOR, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I'M VOTING FOR PRESIDENT BUSH'
EDWARDS: MILLWORKER FATHER LEARNED MATH FROM TV, NOT HALLIBURTON
VP CANDIDATE LIMITS BUSH ATTACKS TO NINE DURING DISCUSSION ABOUT MILLWORKING FATHER'S TV MATH LESSONS
KERRY'S FACE ACCIDENTALLY RIPPED OFF BY SECRET SERVICE AGENT
STRONG ADHERENCE TO 'NO HALLOWEEN MASKS' RULE AT RALLY LEAD TO CONFUSION, MISTAKE
Saturday
KERRY ACCUSATION OF ELECTION THEFT ONLY TWO DAYS AWAY
THOUSANDS CAMP OUT AT POLLS, EAGER TO PARTAKE IN CIVIL RESPONSIBILITY OF CASTING LAWSUITS
CIA: 'NEW THREAT-FILLED KERRY TAPE IS AUTHENTIC'
TAPE REPLACES BEHEADING VIDEOS AS 'MOST POPULAR TO BURN AMERICAN FLAGS TO' ON ARAB STREET
AL JAZEERA REPORTEDLY IN POSSESSION OF NEW KERRY TAPE
CIA: 'THREAT-FILLED' TAPE IS AUTHENTIC; TERROR LEVEL TO REMAIN ELEVATED UNTIL BUSH SECURES REELECTION
CIA AUTHENTICATES 'BLOOD WILL RUN IN THE STREETS' TERROR WARNING
MICHAEL MOORE: 'SEE? BUSH CONTINUES TO CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE OF FEAR IN THE
ABSENCE OF ANY REAL THREAT'
Friday
OSAMA BIN LADEN RECITES FROM KERRY STUMP SPEECH IN NEW VIDEO
KERRY LAWYERS TAKE BREAK FROM STEALING ELECTION TO CHASE DOWN OSAMA WITH 'THE FIREPOWER OF A FRIENDLY NEGOTIATION OFFER'
JIMMY CARTER IN CRITICAL CONDITION OVER CONCERNS ABOUT ARAFAT'S HEALTH
FORMER PEANUT FARMER MAY SEEK MEDICAL TREATMENT IN CUBA, FAMILY DESCENDS
ON GEORGIA COMPOUND
EDWARDS BLASTS BUSH ON EMBRYONIC TERROR CELL RESEARCH
EDWARDS: 'WHEN JOHN KERRY IS PRESIDENT, TERRORISTS LIKE ARAFAT WILL
ARISE FROM THEIR DEATHBEDS AND WALK THE CORRIDORS OF THEIR COMPOUNDS IN
RAMALLAH AGAIN'
ILL TERRORIST IN FRANCE FOR KIND TREATMENT
ARAFAT RUSHED TO THIRD WORLD EUROPEAN STATE FOR MEDICAL PROCEDURES NOT AVAILABLE IN RAMALLAH INCLUDING MEDICINE, RUST-LESS SYRINGES, SHOWERS WITH SOAP
Thursday
KERRY 'BIG FAN' OF BUSH SUPPORTER KURT SCHILLING
CANDIDATE JOHN KERRY: 'I'VE ALWAYS BEEN, AND WILL ALWAYS BE A RED SOX FAN, GUN NUT, GOOSE HUNTER, AND PARASAILBOARDER... THIS IS JUST ME, I DON'T CHANGE'
JIMMY CARTER IN CRITICAL CONDITION OVER ARAFAT HEALTH CONCERNS
FORMER PEANUT FARMER COLLAPSES AT GEORGIA COMPOUND, MAY SEEK MEDICAL ASSISTANCE IN CUBA
MANNY RAMIREZ BLAMED FOR WORLD SERIES WIN
MVP CLAIMS 'OTHERS HELPED'; ARMOR-CLAD SWAT TEAMS DON BATTLE GEAR, RUSH INTO STREETS TO CELEBRATE BOSTON VICTORY
Wednesday
DNC REPORT: MYSTERY VOTING BLOC SUPPORTS KERRY
DNC CLAIMS BOISTEROUS BUSH HATERS, LOUD MICHAEL MOORE FANS, AND
SCREAMING ANTI-WAR PROTESTERS COMPRISE POWERFUL 'SILENT MAJORITY'
BUSH EXPLAINS JOB RESPONSIBILITIES TO PRESIDENT SELF-ELECT KERRY
SAYS BEING PRESIDENT IS 'MORE THAN JUST HUNTING, CYCLING, WINDSURFING,
SKIING, SNOWBOARDING, PANDERING, BOTOX, AND LANCE ARMSTRONG BRACELETS'
Tuesday
'MANLY' VERSION OF KERRY RELEASED TO PUBLIC
NEW KERRY VOWS TO 'KILL TERRORISTS' AND 'NOT LET FRANCE HAVE THEIR WAY WITH
US'; SHIFT AWAY FROM 'SENSITIVE WAR ON TERROR' MOVES KERRY CLOSER TO WINNING
ELECTION RECOUNT
KERRY BREAKS FROM CAMPAIGN FOR 'PRIVATE' RHINO HUNT
KERRY AND POOL OF REPORTERS SEEK SOLITUDE ON AFRICAN SAFARI
CBS: EXPLOSIVES 'VANISHED' BEFORE TROOPS ARRIVED
KERRY: 'WE ALL KNOW CBS IS BIASED, BUSH SHOULD HAVE INVADED IRAQ EARLIER
TO PROTECT EXPLOSIVES'
KERRY DENOUNCES POLITICIZING FROM WHITE PULPITS
WITH 'REVEREND' JACKSON, 'RELIGIOUS' KERRY URGES SEPARATION OF WHITE
CHURCHES AND STATE
Monday
BUSH PARDONS GOP POLL BULLIES
BUSH: 'BY SUPPRESSING THE BLACK VOTE IN HEAVILY DEMOCRATIC PRECINCTS,
THESE POLL BOUNCERS WERE FORCEFULLY PROTECTING FREEDOM, LIBERTY, AND THE
PURSUIT OF MY REELECTION'
PROPOSED 'VOTING LICENSE' CHALLENGED
WOULD REQUIRE VOTERS TO KNOW NAMES OF CURRENT PRESIDENT AND CHALLENGER;
DEMOCRATS CALL REQUIREMENT 'TOO CONFUSING'
KERRY DOES OBLIGATORY BLACK CHURCH THANG
STUMP SERMON HIGHLIGHTS HIS 'LOVE OF RAP MUSIC, BAGGY CLOTHES, AND
GRITS'
Sunday
PITSTOP FOR KERRY BEFORE FLORIDA EVENT
MUCH-NEEDED BOTOX MAINTENANCE PERFORMED; SENATOR ALSO CLEANSED OF RESIDUE
FROM 'UNCLEAN' RALLY CROWDS
44 IRAQI SOLDIERS KILLED IN SURPRISE NUISANCE
IRRITATING AMBUSH REPORTEDLY PLANNED BY AL-ZARQAWI; PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE JOHN
KERRY SAYS MURDERS ARE 'TERRIBLY ANNOYING'
GORE SENT TO RANT AND RAVE FOR KERRY IN FLORIDA
BUSH CAMPAIGN ASKS FOR COMPLETE NEWS COVERAGE, SAYS IT WILL BE 'NECESSARY TO
FULLY UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF KERRY'S PARTY, SWEAT AND ALL'
Saturday
Friday
KERRY VICTORY PARTY ON HOLD
WHITE CAMPAIGN SPOKESMAN: 'WE FEEL IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO CELEBRATE
BEFORE ALL VOTES ARE COUNTED ON NOVEMBER 1'
KERRY CALLS ELECTION FOR SELF
ENTRENCHED PRESIDENT-SELF-ELECT KERRY CLAIMS NOV. 2 VOTING PLANS ARE 'AN
ATTEMPT TO STEAL THE ELECTION AGAIN'
Thursday
LAURA BUSH APOLOGIZES TO HEINZ KERRY
CLASSY APOLOGY FOR 'UNFORTUNATE HASSLE OVER NO BIG DEAL' FURTHER
EMBARRASSES CRAZY EUROPEAN KERRY WIFE
JIMMY CARTER MONITORS STRAW POLL AT MOVEON.ORG EVENT
SADDAM WIN VALIDATED; CARTER SAYS ELECTION WAS 'FAIR AND SQUARE, UNLIKE
OUR UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WILL BE'
GUN NUT KERRY ON GOOSE HUNT
KERRY DENIES PANDERING FOR NASCAR GUN DAD VOTE, SAYS 'I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A
BIG HUNTER-GUY... GEESE, HORSES, SNAILS, YOU NAME IT...'
MICHAEL MOORE THREAT GROUNDS AIRLINER
EARLY REPORTS ON THREAT UNCLEAR: GROUNDING DUE TO EITHER TERRORIST
SYMPATHIZING OR EXCESS TONNAGE
Wednesday
YANKEE STADIUM UPGRADED TO CODE REDDISH ORANGE
YANKS COMMENT ON GAME 7 LOSS TO JOHNNY DAMON: 'WE'RE STILL HIS DADDY'
BUSH PLANS MET WITH OPPOSITION
PLAN TO DISALLOW BLACK VOTE, CANCEL SOCIAL SECURITY FOR ELDERLY, AND
MURDER BABIES FOR MORE OIL ANGERS SOME
Tuesday
LIBERAL 'MEN' OUTRAGED OVER EDWARDS PRIMPING VIDEO
MEN CLAIM 'ALL OXYMORONS ASIDE, WE WOULD NEVER VOTE FOR A GIRL WHO
SPENDS THAT MUCH TIME ON HER HAIR'
EDWARDS HAIR VIDEO REPLACES BEHEADING VIDEOS IN BAGHDAD STREETS
ISLAMIC MILITANTS GET 'INTIMATE' LOOK AT VP CANDIDATE IN VIDEO OF
PRE-PROM PREENING
Monday
PUTIN WARNS OF INCREASED TERROR THREAT IF KERRY ELECTED
KERRY THANKS RUSSIAN PRESIDENT FOR 'SUPPORT OF WORLD LEADERS LIKE HIM'
DEMOCRATS: VOLUNTEER MILITARY SERVICE IN JEOPARDY UNDER BUSH
402-2 CONGRESSIONAL VOTE AGAINST DRAFT CITED
WEEKLY KERRY CAMPAIGN NEWSLETTER ENDORSES BUSH
SAYS 'JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY' LEAD PAPER TO SUPPORT CANDIDATE 'WHO
STANDS FOR THINGS'
NEW VOTING MACHINES STILL CONFUSING TO DEMS
JOINT BABY EINSTEIN - FISHER PRICE VENTURE TO SIMPLIFY VOTING FALLS
SHORT; DEMS STILL BEWILDERED BY PROCESS, CLAIM 'DISENFRANCHISEMENT'
EARLY VOTING BEGINS TODAY
ABC MEMO URGES KERRY TO RESCIND CONCESSION TO BUSH, BEGIN LEGAL
MANEUVERING
EARLY VOTING BEGINS TODAY (more...)
DEMOCRATS PACK BUSES FULL OF 'REGISTERED' CEMETERY RESIDENTS FOR EARLY
TRIP TO POLLS
Sunday
POLL: YANKEES WIN ON STYLE, SUBSTANCE
POINTS ASIDE, YANKEES CLEAR WINNER OF POSTSEASON BASEBALL MATCH
KERRY CAMPAIGN RE-TOOLED AFTER DROP IN POLLS
CLINTON PEOPLE GRANTED RAISES TO 'FOSTER LOYALTY', FOOD TASTER HIRED,
CANDIDATE TO REPLACE ONE LANCE ARMSTRONG BRACELET ON WRIST WITH TWO
NY TIMES PICKS KERRY IN SURPRISE ENDORSEMENT
BUSH 'SADDENED' BY NEWS; PRESIDENT WAS WIDELY ANTICIPATED TO BE FIRST
REPUBLICAN ENDORSEMENT IN 90 YEARS
Saturday
Friday
CHENEY COMMENTS ON ELIZABETH EDWARDS' SHAME
'I UNDERSTAND ELIZABETH'S SHAME... HER HUSBAND IS AN AMBULANCE-CHASING
EMPTY SUIT', SAYS MARY CHENEY
UNDECIDEDS CRAMMING FOR ELECTION
STRESS EXACERBATED BY POSSIBLE 'SURPRISE GLOBAL TEST' AFTER ELECTION
Thursday
BREAKING: CONDI RICE WILL RUN FOR WHITE HOUSE IN '04
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER SAYS SHE LOOKS FORWARD TO RUNNING AGAINST ONE
OF TWO POSSIBLE FEMALE OPPONENTS: HILLARY CLINTON OR JOHN EDWARDS
MICHAEL MOORE DEFENDS HIS PATRIOTISM: 'I'M IN TUNE WITH AMERICA'
'RIGHT-WING ORGANIZATIONS LIKE THE NEW YORK TIMES AND MOVEON.ORG ARE OUT
OF TOUCH' SAYS OUT-OF-TUNE-AND-SHAPE FILM MAKER
JIMMY CARTER TO COUNSEL PERVERT O'REILLY
FORMER PREZ: 'I CAN RELATE TO BILL'S LUSTING IN HIS HEART AFTER IMMORAL
WOMEN AND THEIR WARES... I CAN HELP HIM'
ELIZABETH EDWARDS CONFRONTS 'SHAME'
EDWARDS: 'THE CHENEY'S LOVE THEIR DAUGHTER, EVEN THOUGH SHE IS
SHAMEFULLY GAY... NOT UNLIKE MY HUSBAND SEEMS TO LOVE ME, EVEN THOUGH
I'M FAT'
HEINZ KERRY OUTRAGE: I'M ONE OF THE 'STRONG WOMEN IN JOHN'S LIFE'
MS. HEINZ INSISTS SHE STANDS NEXT TO HER MOTHER-IN-LAW AND LAURA BUSH AS
ONE OF THE 'STRONG WOMEN' IMPACTING JOHN KERRY'S LIFE
BUSHANDSAUDIS.COM PROMPTS NEW GOP PROJECTS
ANTI-BUSH WEBSITE COUNTERED BY: KERRYANDSADDAM.COM AND
DEMOCRATSANDBS.COM
KERRY ON RELATIONSHIP WITH WIFE: 'I LOVE MY MOTHER'
ALSO: CONCERNS ABOUT KERRY'S 'INTEGRITY' PROMPTS DEATH-BED TONGUE
LASHING FROM MOTHER
CHARGE: O'REILLY 'FORCED' PHONE SEX ON PRODUCER
UNABLE TO ESCAPE O'REILLY'S ELECTRONIC STRANGLEHOLD, ALLEGED VICTIM
ENDURED HOURS OF BRUTAL TREATMENT
KERRY OUTS CHENEY DAUGHTER AS LESBIAN
BUSH RETURNS FAVOR, OUTS KERRY AS WEAK-ON-DEFENSE SOCIALIST
FLIP-FLOPPER
BUSH DOMINATES DEBATE IN ANOTHER 'TIE'
PUMMLED BY BUSH 'SUBSTANCE', KERRY SURVIVES ON STYLE, BIG WORDS
Wednesday
KERRY ON HEALTHCARE COSTS: 'I SERVED IN VIETNAM'
KERRY MID-DEBATE PAUSE ASSUMED TO BE EXPOSE ON HEALTHCARE LEGISLATION
AUTHORED DURING SENATE CAREER
KERRY: I DISAGREE THAT IT WOULD BE 'A SIN' TO VOTE FOR ME
KERRY COMMENT PROMPTS BUSH TO ALLEGE THAT SEN. KERRY IS 'OUT OF THE
MAINSTREAM AGAIN'
CANDIDATES PAUSE TO REMEMBER CHRISTOPHER REEVE
Submitted By: Allan McGregor
ST. LOUIS (AP) Both presidential candidates paused in their campaigns to
honor Christopher Reeve who died in his home this morning.
President Bush speaking to a packed crowd at Fulbright Auditorium had this
to say. âThis afternoon we send our thoughts and prayers to the Reeve
family. Their grief should be lessened by the knowledge that Christopher
will be remembered not as just an actor, but as a man of character who faced
his adversity with strength, courage and an undying hope. His fight will
serve as an inspiration to Americans for years to follow. May our loving
God comfort the family today.â
Across town, Sen. Kerry speaking at a union meeting of the AFL-CIO had this
to say, â I was a quadriplegic once. Back in Vietnam. I remember it like
yesterday. Piloting my Swift boat up the Mekong using only my mouth to
steer it. VC shooting at us everywhere. Unable to duck. I still have
nightmares.â
President Bush moves on to Aspen, Co. to try to hold onto to the electoral
votes in that state, while Sen. Kerry will be making his fifth stop in as
many weeks to Ohio, speaking to steel workers in Canton on Monday.
FLORIDA BATTERED BY HURRICANE POSTCARD PARODIES
SUNSHINE STATE STILL UNCOVERING FROM STORM OF 'FUNNY' POSTCARDS,
INTERNET GRAPHICS
WHITE CHILD MOLESTER SHOCKED BY BLACK RAPPER
MICHAEL JACKSON OUTRAGED AT EMINEM'S PORTRAYAL OF HIM IN NEW VIDEO
Tuesday
JIMMY CARTER TO MONITOR U.S. ELECTIONS
NOBEL PRIZE-WINNING PEANUT FARMER WILL OVERSEE ELECTIONS FROM MOUNTAINTOP IN
COLORADO
NATION'S LAWSUITS ON HOLD AS ELECTION NEARS
LAWYERS NOT YET RETAINED BY KERRY CHARGING PREMIUM FOR SERVICES
Monday
7-11 CANDIDATE CUPS SET FOR DEBATE
KERRY CUP SAYS EQUAL HEIGHT UNFAIR, ASKS TO STAND ON COASTER TO 'BETTER REPRESENT MY MORE STATUESQUE IMAGE'
KERRY HAS PLAN TO CEASE FLIPFLOPPING
PLAN INVOLVES SCRUBBING OF CONGRESSIONAL RECORD, RE-VISITING OF HISTORICAL QUOTES