SEN. OBAMA MEETS WITH JEWISH COMMUNITY

INSISTS HE'S 'NOT REALLY ANTI-SEMITIC' AND PLEDGES NOT TO ATTACK ISRAEL IF ELECTED

CLINTON VOWS TO CONTINUE 'CLEAN FIGHT' FOR NOMINATION

INSISTS AGAIN THAT 'THESE RIDICULOUS ACCUSATIONS THAT OBAMA IS A CRAZY MUSLIM ARE PROBABLY NOT TRUE'

EDWARDS ENDORSES HILLARY CLINTON OPPONENT

SAYS 'BARACK IS THE BEST THAT THIS PARTY HAS TO OFFER, BESIDES ME, AT THIS TIME'

DEMOCRATS SEND DELEGATE TO TELL CLINTON 'IT'S OVER'

DELEGATE'S VIEWING SCHEDULED FOR SUNDAY, MEMORIAL SERVICE TO FOLLOW

CLINTON NEEDS 451 OF AVAILABLE 400 REMAINING DELEGATES TO WIN

FLOATS $6M Of OWN FUNDS TO CAMPAIGN, URGES OBAMA TO DROP OUT

REV. WRIGHT CONTINUES TO PLAGUE OBAMA

WRIGHT PRESS CONFERENCE TO REVEAL 'INTIMATE LATE NIGHT PHONE CALLS' WITH SEN. OBAMA

OBAMA-CLINTON WAR RAGES ON

DOZENS BLOODIED IN LATEST ROUND OF SKIRMISHES; CLINTON MOVES TROOPS TO NORTH CAROLINA

HUCKABEE SURGES BACK INTO NEWS WITH BOOK DEAL

REPUBLICANS PETITION McCAIN TO 'GIVE UP ALREADY, AND DROP OUT'

CBS MAY LEVY AXE ON COURIC

CBS' 'EVENING NEWS' DOWN TO LAST DOZEN VIEWERS

JIMMY CARTER DEPARTS MIDDLE EAST

HAMAS LEADER 'VERY FOCUSED ON CAREER', MULLS ABORTING CARTER'S BABY

ISRAEL ON HEIGHTENED ALERT FOR PRESIDENT CARTER VISIT

ISRAELI SECURITY FORCE SHIN BET MOBILIZES, PREPARES FOR 'ANY ATTACK CARTER MAY CARRY OUT'

McCAIN ADDRESSES AGE ISSUE

SAYS EXPERT'S 'CAMPAIGN-STRESSED AGE EQUIVALENT' OF 142 YRS OLD IS 'OFF BY AT LEAST TWENTY YEARS'

OBAMA, CLINTON HONOR MLK JR IN MEMPHIS

CANDIDATES INSIST THEY ALSO HAVE A DREAM

SEN. OBAMA CONTINUES TO COLLECT KEY ENDORSEMENTS

ENJOYS LATEST SUPPORT FROM JANE FONDA, MULLAH OMAR

McCAIN SEEKS SUPPORT FROM HAWKISH CONSERVATIVES

SAYS HE CAN FORSEE STAYING IN IRAQ 'FOR A HUNDRED, MAYBE HUNDREDS, OR HUNDREDS OF THOUSAND YEARS'

HILLARY: I MISSPOKE ABOUT BOSNIA SNIPER FIRE

CLINTON SAYS MISPLACED MEMORY WAS OF WHITE HOUSE FIGHT WITH BILL, NOT LANDING IN HAIL OF GUNFIRE

HILLARY: BARACK IS INNOCENT IN SPITE OF ASSOCIATION WITH HATEFUL WRIGHT

CLINTON: MEDIA USING PASTOR'S RAMBLINGS TO SHAMELESSLY DRAW ATTENTION TO BARACK'S INEXPERIENCE, DRUG USE, AND RADICAL ISLAMIC SCHOOLING

OBAMA DENOUNCES MINISTER

CALLS WRIGHT 'A CLOSE FRIEND, A TRUSTED ADVISER, BUT A DIVISIVE ACTIVIST WHO I'VE OCCASIONALLY CHUCKLED AT'

MEDIA SCRUTINIZES OBAMA'S MINISTER

CNN ON REV. JEREMIAH WRIGHT'S ANTI-AMERICAN, ANTI-SEMETIC, ANTI-WHITE RAVINGS: 'THOSE THOUGHTS BEAR MERIT, WE NEED TO CONSIDER THEM MORE CAREFULLY'

SPITZER RESIGNS

NY GOV IN HEARTFELT APOLOGY: 'IT IS WHAT IT IS, EVERYONE WILL JUST HAVE TO GET OVER IT'

CLINTON-OBAMA WAR RAGES ON

SEN. McCAIN TAKES BREAK, VACATIONS IN 'MORE PEACEFUL' GAZA STRIP

TONE OF DEMOCRATIC RACE IMPROVES TO 'VISCIOUS'

OBAMA LAWYER: FL AND OH VOTERS ARE INTERFERRING IN PRIMARY PROCESS

HILLARY HINTS AT JOINT TICKET WITH OBAMA

FEMINISTS APPLAUD CLINTON'S DESIRE 'TO BE ON TOP'

OBAMA RAISES EXPECTATIONS FOR CLINTON

SAYS 'IF ANYONE IN TEXAS OR OHIO VOTES FOR ME, IT'S OVER FOR HER'

CLINTON VOWS TO PRESS ON

SAYS MOMENTUM ON HER SIDE REGARDLESS OF 12 STRAIGHT PRIMARY LOSSES AND BEING DESPISED BY MOST DEMOCRATS

'UNDERDOG' GOP PREPS FOR GENERAL ELECTION FIGHT

REPUBLICANS WEIGH STRATEGIES OF ATTACK AGAINST CANDIDATES OBAMA, McCAIN

MASSIVE POWER OUTAGES HIT FLORIDA

FLORIDA POWER CO: BLACKOUT CAUSED BY OVERWHELMING INTERNET DEMAND FOR PICS OF OBAMA IN AL QUEDA GARB

HILLARY CHASTISES STAFF FOR RELEASE OF OBAMA PHOTO

SEN. CLINTON: 'I WAS PERSONALLY OUTRAGED WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT MY STAFF HAD LEAKED THAT UNDOCTORED PHOTO OF BARACK IN AN ISLAMIC TERRORIST-TYPE HEADDRESS'

HILLARY RUNNING OUT OF STRATEGIES

CLINTON CAMPAIGN INSIDER: ONLY REMAINING OPTIONS ARE PULLING SEN. OBAMA'S HAIR, PLACING FLAMING DOG DROPPINGS AT FRONT DOOR

McCAIN LOOKS TO BALANCE AGE, IDEOLOGY WITH VEEP PICK

MAY CHOSE 12 YR OLD PRESIDENT OF DALLAS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL'S YOUNG REBULICAN CLUB AS RUNNING MATE

CLINTON CAMPAIGN 'PLEASANTLY SURPRISED' BY GOOD NEWS

HILLARY GREETS 'GOOD NEWS' THAT LATEST OBAMA RALLY DRAWS THOUSANDS, BUT FAILS TO BREAK ANOTHER RECORD

SUPPORTERS OF OBAMA'S ORATORICAL SKILLS FILL ARENA

SAY THEY 'LOVE THE PASSION WITH WHICH BARACK RECITES THE WORDS OF HIS SPEECH WRITER'

CLINTON: 'OBAMA'S RHETORIC ISN'T HIS OWN, IT'S MINE, PLAGERIZED'

SEN. OBAMA ANSWERS CHARGE, SAYS 'HILLARY'S RHETORIC ISN'T HER OWN, IT'S MINE, PLAGERIZED'

FIDEL CASTRO RESIGNS POWER

DECEASED CUBAN DICTATOR CEDES POWER, CITES DESIRE TO 'SPEND MORE TIME IN MY GRAVE'

McCAIN ANSWERS TOWN HALL ATTENDEE'S CONCERN ABOUT HIS TEMPER

SEN. McCAIN: '%#@!& YOUR %$#@& YOU &$@#(^% AND #$$^%^ TEMPER, YOU #@$^@!#%'

SEN. OBAMA SPEAKS OUT ON ILLINOIS CAMPUS MASSACRE

FRONT-RUNNING DEMOCRAT PLEDGES TO DO 'WHATEVER IT TAKES TO ELIMINATE GUNS, AND I GUESS GUN VIOLENCE'

PENTAGON PREPARES TO SHOOT DOWN CLINTON CAMPAIGN

SPOKESMAN: 'WITH THAT THING FLOATING UNCONTROLLABLY OUT IN SPACE, THE POSSIBILITY OF IT CRASHING TO EARTH POSES A SIGNIFICANT RISK TO OUR PLANET'

OBAMA LASHES OUT AT 'BELOW-THE-BELT TACTICS'

SEN. CLINTON SAYS REFERENCE TO SEN. OBAMA AS 'JESSE HUSSEIN JACKSON' WAS HONEST MISTAKE

CLINTON FACES LOSS OF ENTIRE LIFE'S HOPES AND DREAMS IN POTOMAC PRIMARIES

ONLY AVAILABLE REMAINING STRATEGIES INCLUDE WEATHER MANIPULATION OR INVENTION OF TIME MACHINE

U.N. EXPRESSES 'CONCERN' OVER U.S. PRESIDENTIAL RACE

U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL WARNS: HILLARY CLINTON MAY BE 'WEEKS AWAY' FROM ACQUIRING, USING WMD

CLINTON CAMPAIGN UNRAVELLING

CLINTON CAMPAIGN MANAGER TO SEN. OBAMA: 'PLEASE HIRE ME, I'LL WORK FOR FREE FOR YOU TOO'

HILLARY PULLS OUT OF MSNBC DEBATE

SEN. CLINTON 'OUTRAGED' BY RUMOR THAT NBC JANITOR'S BABYSITTER LISTENS TO LIMBAUGH, HANNITY

JOHN McCAIN CAMPAIGN JOINS TREND, CLAIMS SHORT ON CASH

SEN. McCAIN FRAGRANTS SELF WITH COLONGNE ADS FROM MAGAZINES; CAMPAIGN STAFF ACCEPTING PAY 'IN McCAIN AUTOGRAPHS AND FAMILY HEIRLOOMS'

CLINTON CAMPAIGN DOWN TO $14.68

SEN. HILLARY CLINTON BLAMES LACK OF FINANCIAL SECURITY ON 'MY BEING SUPPRESSED BY THE BLACK MAN'

CAMPAIGN IRREGULARITIES ABOUND ON SUPER TUESDAY

REPUBLICANS CRY FOUL AS DEMOCRAT SEN. JOHN McCAIN SWEEPS GOP PRIMARY STATES

JOHN McCAIN PROJECTED WINNER

WITH ONLY 0% OF POLLS REPORTING, PREVENTTRUTHDECAY.COM PROJECTS GOP PRIMARY LANDSLIDE FOR DEMOCRAT SEN. JOHN McCAIN

McCAIN OFFERS CONCESSION FORMS TO ROMNEY, HUCKABEE

DEMOCRAT AND REPUBLICAN PROTESTERS PREP FOR McCAIN INAUGURATION

McCAIN PROMISES BALANCED TICKET

OFFERS VEEP SPOT TO NEMISIS RUSH LIMBAUGH TO 'BRING TICKET BACKTO THE CENTER'

SUPER TUESDAY LOOMS

McCAIN CONTINUES TO CAMPAIGN DESPITE HAVING 'LOCKED UP' NOMINATION AND GENERAL ELECTION

OBAMA GIVES SEN. CLINTON CHANCE TO CONCEDE

OFFERS HER 'YOUR CHOICE OF EITHER KITCHEN STAFFER OR MAID POSITION IN MY WHITE HOUSE'

SENILITY QUESTIONS SWIRL AROUND NANCY REAGAN'S SUPPORT FOR McCAIN

FRIENDS TO REAGAN: 'DON'T YOU REALIZE HE'S LIKE 90 AND ALMOST SENILE?'

EDWARDS SET TO ENDORSE OBAMA OR POSSIBLY CLINTON

SAYS 'NEXT DEBATE BETWEEN JUST THOSE TWO WILL PROVIDE BETTER INSIGHT WITHOUT ME THERE TO MUCK IT UP'

JOHN EDWARDS BOWS OUT

CITES CRIPPLING COST OF SIMULTANEOUSLY MAINTAINING CAMPAIGN AND HAIR STYLE; WILL CAMPAIGN IN 2012 ON NEW 'THREE AMERICAS' MESSAGE

GIULIANI SET TO LOSE FLORIDA TO ROMNEY OR McCAIN

FORMER NY MAYOR BLAMES STAFFERS FOR 'DISORGANIZATION'; SAYS 'THERE'S NO REASON WHY I SHOULD BE CAMPAIGNING IN IOWA TODAY AND NEW HAMPSHIRE TOMORROW'

CLINTON, KENNEDY TANGLE AT STATE OF THE UNION

HILLARY CLINTON: TED KENNEDY FACE PUNCH WAS ACCIDENTAL: 'I WAS JUST REACHING OVER HIM TO SHAKE BUSH'S HAND'

BUSH TO SPEAK TO NATION

PRESIDENT TO USE STATE OF THE UNION TO ADDRESS STATE OF ERODING CLINTON-KENNEDY UNION

TED KENNEDY ENDORSES OBAMA

HILLARY CLINTON DOWNPLAYS ENDORSEMENT, SAYS 'JUST DON'T HAVE HIM DRIVE YOU TO YOUR CAMPAIGN EVENTS'

B. HUSSEIN OBAMA CONQUERS CLINTON IN SOUTH CAROLINA

SECRET SERVICE WARNS OBAMA AGAINST 'BEING VINCE FOSTERED'

BILL CLINTON LOSES TO OBAMA IN SOUTH CAROLINA

BILL CLINTON BLAMES WIFE FOR 'LACK OF PARTICIPATON' IN SC, VOWS TO 'CAMPAIGN WITH A VENGEANCE' IN FLORIDA

KUCINICH DROPS OUT OF RACE

FORMER CLEVELAND MAYOR TO MOVE BACK INTO CAR, BEGINNING PLANNING 2012 WHITE HOUSE BID

HUCKABEE CAMPAIGN IN CASH CRISIS

STAFFERS SWAP CELL PHONES FOR CUPS AND STRING, AGREE TO ACCEPT PAY IN 'RICE AND TITLE PROMOTIONS'

SAUDIA ARABIAN WOMEN MAKE SOCIETAL PROGRESS

NEW LAW WILL ALLOW 'HAPPY THOUGHTS IN PRIVATE'

MOUNTING PRESSURE FORCES FRED THOMPSON FROM RACE

SPOKESMAN: 'THERE WERE ONLY SO MANY DAYS HE COULD PULL THE GRUELING 9-5 SCHEDULE REQUIRED OF A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE'

CANDIDATE APPEARS TO QUESTION McCAIN'S AGE

MIKE HUCKABEE: 'I'M NOT AN AGE EXPERT OR ANYTHING, BUT ISN'T JOHN McCAIN LIKE 90 YEARS OLD OR SO?'

CLINTON'S ATTEMPT TO COURT BLACKS WITH ATTACK ON MLK JR. BACKFIRES

ATTEMPTS TO REGAIN FOOTING WITH DIMINISHING BLACK SUPPORT, ENCOURAGES O.J. SIMPSON TO 'WIN ANOTHER ONE FOR MY PEOPLE'

JOHN EDWARDS LASHES OUT AT MEDIA

FORMER SENATOR AND APPARENT PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE DECRIES LACK OF COVERAGE, BRISTLES AT CNN'S REQUEST TO VERIFY SPELLING OF LAST NAME

BRIAN WILLIAMS ATTACKS HILLARY DURING VEGAS DEBATE

THROWS HARDBALL AT SEN. CLINTON, ASKS 'AS PRESIDENT, WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO OVERCOME YOUR WEAKNESS OF CARING ABOUT MINORITIES AND CHILDREN TOO MUCH?'

RICHARDSON DROPS OUT

NEW MEXICO GOVERNOR ENDORSES SELF FOR NEXT WHITE HOUSE ATTEMPT IN 2012

CLINTON'S NH PRIMARY WIN PROBED

SCIENTIST: MALFUNCTIONING ROBOTIC TEAR DUCT 'MAY HAVE INADVERTENTLY EXPOSED HUMAN-LIKE COMPONENTS OF CANDIDATE'

BARACK OBAMA WINS IOWA CAUCUSES, EXTENDS VEEP OFFER TO CLINTON

CLINTON ACCEPTS, OFFERS SEN. OBAMA NEW PAIR OF CONCRETE SHOES

IRAN'S AMADINEJAD: WE WILL DESTROY ISRAEL WITH NUKES SOON

U.N. CONDEMS IRANIAN PRESIDENT'S RHETORIC, SAYS 'IRAN'S NUKE PROGRAM IS FOR PEACEFUL PURPOSES ONLY'

JOHN EDWARDS 'TWO AMERICAS' SPEECH POSTPONED

SEN. EDWARDS' PEDICURIST DELAYED AT LAX, WILL ARRIVE MONDAY TO PREP CANDIDATE FOR SPEECH

KUCINICH TO MISS FIRST STAR TREK CONVENTION

CANDIDATE TO BARNSTORM IOWA, SAYS HE'LL 'PUT PERSONAL INTERESTS ASIDE AND FOCUS ON CLOSING THE GAP BETWEEN MYSELF AND ALL OF THE LEADERS'

OBAMA SAYS TERRORIST-SOUNDING MIDDLE AND LAST NAMES ARE 'NOT A FACTOR'

SAYS GOP IS 'OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE AVERAGE AMERICAN'S DESIRE TO HAVE LEADERS WITH MUSLIMY NAMES'

CANDIDATES FISH FOR UNDECIDED IOWAN VOTERS

OBAMA CAMP DISTRIBUTING FREE DVD COPIES OF FIFTEEN MINUTE JOHN EDWARDS PRIMPING VIDEO

TIGER ESCAPES ZOO, KILLS 1

ANIMAL DOWNED BY GUN NUT WIELDING DANGEROUS HANDGUN

HUCKABEE CRITICIZED FOR RELIGIOUS OVERTONES IN CHRISTMAS SPEECH

RIGHT-WING CANDIDATE ACCUSED OF 'INSERTING JESUS INTO THE HOLIDAY SEASON'

CLINTON STRATEGIST STANDS UP FOR OBAMA

MARK PENN: 'IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT OBAMA RHYMES WITH OSAMA, THAT HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HUSSEIN, AND THAT HE WAS TRAINED IN A RADICAL MADRASA, AND IT SHOULD'T EVEN BE MENTIONED'

PHOTO OF AGING HILLARY ATTACKS WEB BROWSERS

INTERNET FILTER ADVOCATES: 'NOW DO YOU SEE THE NEED?'

OBAMA TAKES LEAD IN IOWA POLLS

SEN. HILLARY CLINTON VOWS TO 'FIGHT TO THE DEATH, LITERALLY'

DENNIS KUCINICH DROPS OUT OF PRESIDENTIAL RACE

FORMER CLEVELAND MAYOR TO ENCOURAGE HIS SUPPORTER TO SUPPORT L. RON HUBBARD'S POST MORTEM WRITE-IN CANDIDACY

MITCHELL REPORT RELEASED

HILLARY CLINTON QUESTIONS BARACK OBAMA ABSENCE FROM LIST OF DRUG-ABUSERS

MITT ROMNEY TO MORMON CRITICS: NO WORRIES

PLEDGES TO KEEP ADMINISTRATION '100% MORMON FREE, WITH ONLY ONE EXCEPTION'

CIA INVESTIGATING DESTROYED TORTURE TAPES

TAPES REPORTEDLY INVOLVE 'THOUSANDS OF HOURS IN WHICH AMERICAN REPUTATION IS TORTURED BY CBS'

OBAMA GETS PRAISE, HUGS FROM OPRAH

HILLARY CLINTON: 'I'VE SEEN THIS SORT OF THING BEFORE.... HE'S SLEEPING WITH HER'

CANDIDATES RESPOND TO ROMNEY'S CONFESSION OF FAITH SPEECH

HUCKABEE PLEDGES TO BE 'THE LEAST MORMONY CANDIDATE'

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE TO NON-MORMONS: WE ALL SERVE THE SAME GOD

MITT ROMNEY: THERE'S 'NO DIFFERENCE' BETWEEN JEHOVAH, ALLAH AND EXTRATERRESTRIAL AND 'DELIGHTFULLY WHITE' MORMON SPIRIT-GOD ELOHIM

MITT ROMNEY TO GIVE MAJOR POLICY SPEECH ON MORMONISM

SPEECH WILL NOT INCLUDE SATAN'S BROTHER JESUS' BOAT TRIP TO AMERICA TO CONVERT 'CURSED BLACK PEOPLE' AND JEWS THAT BECAME AMERICAN INDIANS