Sunday

DAVID BLAINE SEEKS REDEMPTION AFTER LEAP INTO LOSERDOM WITH STUPID 'DIVE OF DEATH'

MAGICIAN FAILED TO DIVE OR DIE;  WILL ATTEMPT REPUTATION BAILOUT BY MAKING FINANCIAL CRISIS DISAPPEAR IN ABC PRIMETIME SPECIAL

Saturday

BIDEN RESPONDS TO HILLARY VP RUMORS

BLAMES EIGHT GAFFES IN SINGLE-SENTENCE DENIAL ON ANEURYSM PROBLEMS, SAYS 'I FEEL ONE COMING ON, AND I'LL PROBABLY DIE SOON, BUT THESE RUMORS ARE OUTRAGEOUS'

Friday

McCAIN: I'LL ATTEND DEBATE

OBAMA RESPONDS: 'WHAT? OH... UH,... I, ER, ... THINK, UMM... THAT MAYBE WE, UH, SHOULD, I THINK... STAY IN D.C. TO ATTEND TO THE BUSINESS OF THE, UM... PEOPLE'

Wednesday

BIDEN BLASTS BUSH'S SLOW PUBLIC RESPONSE TO FINANCIAL CRISIS

SEN. BIDEN: 'WHEN THE CIVIL WAR BROKE OUT, TRUMAN GOT ON THE INTERNET AND PODCASTED A PEACE PLEA TO THE ARMIES FROM THE EAST AND WEST'

Tuesday

AHMADINEJAD PREGNANT AFTER LARRY KING INTERVIEW

IRANIAN PRESIDENT DENIES RELATIONSHIP WITH ELDERLY JEWISH CNN HOST, REFUSES DNA TEST

OBAMA CAMPAIGN PUTS BIDEN SPEECHES ON SEVEN SECOND DELAY

RNC'S EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT OF BIDEN GAFFE ARCHIVING COLLAPSES FROM EXHAUSTION, RUSHED TO HOSPITAL

KEITH OLBERMANN CUTS MICHAEL MOORE INTERVIEW

MSNBC HOST: 'I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD IN THE SAME ROOM AS THAT RIGHT-WINGER'

Monday

FEDS PUSH MORGAN STANLEY, GOLDMAN SACHS INTO BANKING

FORMER INVESTMENT GIANTS ASKED TO DIVERSIFY INTO RETAIL, ICE CREAM, AND OIL CHANGE INDUSTRIES

Saturday

OBAMA POSITIONS SELF AS 'CANDIDATE FOR ECONOMIC RECOVERY'

SAYS EXPERIENCE 'NAVIGATING MY BANK'S COMPLEX INTERNET BANKING AND BILL PAY SYSTEM' QUALIFIES HIM TO SOLVE NATION'S FINANCIAL TROUBLES

Friday

SENATE DEMS EXCUSE SELVES FROM FINANCIAL CRISIS STRATEGY SESSIONS

INSIST THEY WILL BE 'TOO BUSY WITH A MORE IMPORTANT PROJECT, DOCUMENTING MISPRONUNCIATIONS IN BUSH'S ECONOMIC BAILOUT SPEECH'

Wednesday

HILLARY CLINTON PETITIONS FOR GOVERNMENT BAILOUT

CITES NECESSITY OF PROTECTING THE FINANCIAL STABILITY OF 'THE POOR PEOPLE BEING ASKED PAY OFF MY HUMONGOUS DEBT'

Tuesday

McCAIN ADOPTS, IMPROVES ON OBAMA STUMP LINE

SAYS HE WILL 'BRING REAL CHANGE TO THE BROKEN POLITICS OF BUSH, CHENEY, ROVE, CLINTON, CLINTON, GORE, McCAIN AND PALIN'

Monday

OBAMA'S STOCK FALLS ON LEHMAN NEWS

AMERICANS BEGINNING TO REALIZE THAT SOARING TAXES, PLUMMETING INCOMES MAY NOT BE SOLUTION TO NATION'S FINANCIAL CRISIS

Saturday

HILLARY DENIES ATTEMPTS TO SABOTAGE OBAMA

ENCOURAGES VISIT TO WWW.CLINTON-BIDEN08.COM FOR MORE DETAILS, PROOF OF
INNOCENCE, AND CONTRIBUTION LINK

Friday

HILLARY CLINTON FORMS 2012 EXPLORATORY COMMITTEE

NY SENATOR INSISTS SHE'S 'IN IT TO WIN IT' AND 'WON'T BE DISTRACTED FROM HELPING BIDEN WIN IN '08... AND OBAMA TOO'

IKE TO MAKE TEXAS LANDFALL TOMORROW

OBAMA BLAMES FUTURE RESCUE AND CLEANUP FAILURES ON BUSH, McCAIN, AND PALIN

Thursday

CANDIDATES PLEDGE TO PUT POLITICS ON HOLD FOR 9-11

SEN. OBAMA CALLS FOR 'PAUSE IN THE MUDSLINGING AT AL QUEDA AS WELL'

Wednesday

NATIONAL ENQUIRER ALLEGES OBAMA-OLBERMANN AFFAIR

SEN. OBAMA: 'KEITH AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS, NOTHING MORE, AND CERTAINLY NOTHING LESS'

Monday

DEMS STRUGGLE WITH IMAGE AFTER PALIN STORM WRECKS OBAMA CAMP

VP NOMINEE BIDEN TO BE REINTRODUCED AS SQUIRREL HUNTING, SCUBA DIVING LACROSSE DAD AND FUTURE JET SKI RACER

JOE BIDEN REVERSES COURSE ON DEBATE PREP AFTER PALIN PICK


DEM VP FIRES DEBATE TRAINER MIKE TYSON; AIMS FOR SOFTER, LESS BIDEN-ISH APPROACH

OBAMA TAKES BREAK FROM CAMPAIGN

INVITES MEDIA POOL ON MOOSE HUNT IN ALASKA, SAYS TRIP WAS PLANNED 'YEARS AGO'

Thursday

MEDIA REGROUPS TO REPORT ON AFTERMATH OF HURRICANE PALIN

BOSTON GLOBE RAISES CONCERNS OVER HAIRSTYLE; NY TIMES LEAD STORY ALLEGES TWO POSSIBLE 'SENTENCE STRUCTURE ISSUES' IN PALIN SPEECH

Wednesday

MEDIA REACTS TO PALIN SPEECH

NY TIMES LEAD: 'PROTESTOR'S MESSAGE INTERRUPTED BY PALIN SPEECH'

MEDIA CONTINUE TO QUESTION McCAIN VP PICK

QUESTIONS ABOUT PALIN VETTING PROCESS FAIL TO RAISE QUESTIONS ABOUT ARKANSAS GOV CLINTON VETTING PROCESS

Tuesday

NEW ORLEANS SPARED BRUNT OF HURRICANE GUSTAV

SPIKE LEE LEAVES CITY, CANCELS SEQUEL TO LEVEE 'DOCUMENTARY'; BUSH CRITICIZED