Wednesday

HOUSE PROPOSES AMENDMENT TO SENATE IMMIGRATION BILL

U.S. REPRESENTATIVES PROMISE TO PASS SENATE BILL IF AMNESTY MEASURE IS FOLLOWED BY 'IMMEDIATE PAYMENT OF BACK TAXES AND PROMPT DEPORTATION'

Sunday

SEN. CLINTON MEETS WITH BILLY GRAHAM

SAYS ALL AMERICAN PRESIDENTS MEET WITH THE REVEREND, AND 'I MAY NOT GET THAT OPPORTUNITY - HIS YEARS ARE NUMBERED'

Thursday

AMERICAN IDOL WINNER BEGINS REIGN OF TERROR

GREY-HAIRED TEEN TAYLOR HICKS EDGES KAT OUT IN MULTI-VOTE AND SOFTWARE-GENERATED TEXT MESSAGE CONTEST

Wednesday

SENATORS TAKE TOUGH STANCE ON IMMIGRATION

PUSHES BILL TO DISCONTINUE SENDING 'BORDER CROSSING KITS' TO MEXICO

Tuesday

FEWER TEXAS VACATIONS, MORE D.C. FOR BUSH

PRESIDENT AT WHITE HOUSE ALMOST AS MUCH AS ARAFAT, WHEN HE LIVED THERE DURING THE LATE 90'S

Monday

DAN BROWN ACKNOWLEDGES 'TAKING CREATIVE LIBERTY WITH HISTORY' IN DA VINCI CODE

AUTHOR WILL CHANGE TITLE TO 'A MILLION LITTLE PIECES OF DA VINCI'

Friday

DEFENSE DEPT RELEASES 'VIDEO' TO PUBLIC

ANIMATED SET OF STILL SHOTS DISPPROVES THEORY THAT UFO PILOTED BY JEWS STRUCK PENTAGON

Tuesday

CASTRO PLANS TRANSPORT UPGRADE

DICTATOR WILL BUY MAYOR NEGIN'S WATER-LOGGED BUSES TO UPGRADE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION ON UTOPIAN ISLAND

Monday

BUSH OFFERS INTERIM PLAN TO SECURE BORDERS

SUGGESTS DUCT TAPE AND CHICKEN WIRE FENCE AS 'A MORE SECURE, BUT STILL TEMPORARY FIX' TO BORDER ISSUE

Friday

BUSH ADMITS TO DOMESTIC EAVESDROPPING

PREZ SAYS CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HIMSELF BETWEEN SUPPOSED FRIENDS AND FORMER BEAUS HAVE BEEN 'INTERESTING, BUT TERRIBLY TIME CONSUMING'

TED KENNEDY JR. WRECKS CAR AFTER COLD MEDICINE BINGE

CONGRESSMAN SAYS DOG ATE HIS CONGRESSIONAL FLOOR VOTE SCHEDULE

Thursday

MOUSSAOUI SENTENCED TO LIFE AT DISNEYLAND

JURY: 'AMERICA LOST, HE WON'

Tuesday

NATION'S INMATES PLAN 'DAY WITHOUT PRISON LABOR' PROTEST

LICENSE PLATE AND ROCK BREAKING INDUSTRIES BRACE FOR SHORTAGES; MAY HIRE AMNESTY-PENDING MEXICANS TO 'FILL THE GAP'