Wednesday
U.S. REPRESENTATIVES PROMISE TO PASS SENATE BILL IF AMNESTY MEASURE IS FOLLOWED BY 'IMMEDIATE PAYMENT OF BACK TAXES AND PROMPT DEPORTATION'
Sunday
SEN. CLINTON MEETS WITH BILLY GRAHAM
SAYS ALL AMERICAN PRESIDENTS MEET WITH THE REVEREND, AND 'I MAY NOT GET THAT OPPORTUNITY - HIS YEARS ARE NUMBERED'
Thursday
AMERICAN IDOL WINNER BEGINS REIGN OF TERROR
GREY-HAIRED TEEN TAYLOR HICKS EDGES KAT OUT IN MULTI-VOTE AND SOFTWARE-GENERATED TEXT MESSAGE CONTEST
Wednesday
SENATORS TAKE TOUGH STANCE ON IMMIGRATION
PUSHES BILL TO DISCONTINUE SENDING 'BORDER CROSSING KITS' TO MEXICO
Tuesday
FEWER TEXAS VACATIONS, MORE D.C. FOR BUSH
PRESIDENT AT WHITE HOUSE ALMOST AS MUCH AS ARAFAT, WHEN HE LIVED THERE DURING THE LATE 90'S
Monday
DAN BROWN ACKNOWLEDGES 'TAKING CREATIVE LIBERTY WITH HISTORY' IN DA VINCI CODE
AUTHOR WILL CHANGE TITLE TO 'A MILLION LITTLE PIECES OF DA VINCI'
Friday
DEFENSE DEPT RELEASES 'VIDEO' TO PUBLIC
ANIMATED SET OF STILL SHOTS DISPPROVES THEORY THAT UFO PILOTED BY JEWS STRUCK PENTAGON
Tuesday
CASTRO PLANS TRANSPORT UPGRADE
DICTATOR WILL BUY MAYOR NEGIN'S WATER-LOGGED BUSES TO UPGRADE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION ON UTOPIAN ISLAND
Monday
BUSH OFFERS INTERIM PLAN TO SECURE BORDERS
SUGGESTS DUCT TAPE AND CHICKEN WIRE FENCE AS 'A MORE SECURE, BUT STILL TEMPORARY FIX' TO BORDER ISSUE
Friday
BUSH ADMITS TO DOMESTIC EAVESDROPPING
PREZ SAYS CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HIMSELF BETWEEN SUPPOSED FRIENDS AND FORMER BEAUS HAVE BEEN 'INTERESTING, BUT TERRIBLY TIME CONSUMING'
TED KENNEDY JR. WRECKS CAR AFTER COLD MEDICINE BINGE
CONGRESSMAN SAYS DOG ATE HIS CONGRESSIONAL FLOOR VOTE SCHEDULE