Friday
SENATE BILL INCLUDES 'RIGHT TO DRILL FOR OIL IN HYANNISPORT' RIDER
Thursday
HELEN THOMAS POSES FIRST QUESTION TO PRESS SECRETARY SNOW
THOMAS: 'CAN YOU ASK SCOTT McCLELLAND WHY THE PRESIDENT PLANS TO KILL CARIBOU FOR OIL IN ANWR?'
Tuesday
AL-ZARQAWI VIDEO MISTAKEN FOR DNC ELECTION COMMERCIAL
SEVEN OUT OF TEN DEMOCRATS SAY THEY'D 'VOTE FOR THAT GUY ON THE COMMERCIAL WITH THE BEARD'
Thursday
DONALD TRUMP DONATES ATLANTIC OCEAN TO EARTH
BODY OF WATER TO BE RENAMED 'DONALD J. TRUMP WORLD OCEAN'
Wednesday
KATIE HOLMES HUMAN BABY PUNISHED FOR BIRTHING CRY
SCIENTOLOGIST COUPLE 'SCARRED' BY LOUD NEWBORN; WILL AUDIT THETANS AFTER FAMILY NURSE TRAINED TO SWADDLE, FEED, AND WARD OFF ALIEN WARLORD XENU
Tuesday
U.N. REACTS TO TEL AVIV SUICIDE BOMBING
SECURITY COUNCIL DISPATCHES PEACEKEEPING FORCE TO PROTECT PALESTINIANS FROM ISRAELI REACTION
HILLARY MARCHES WITH IMMIGRANTS, RAILS AGAINST AMERICAN POLICY OF BORDER CONTROL
SEN. CLINTON SAYS MEXICAN BALL CAP REPRESENTS HER 'TRUE LOVE FOR THAT TEAM'