ROGUE FAN WAVE ERUPTS DURING COWBOY'S GAME

EARLY REPORTS CITE 2 DEAD, 74 INJURED; TRADITIONAL THANKSGIVING DAY GAME TARNISHED

FALLING HOME PRICES SLIDE TOWARDS PRECIPITOUS PLUMMET

CREDIT CRISIS HAS FIRST-TIME HOMEBUYERS NEARING INABILITY TO AFFORD FREE HOMES

BIG THREE AUTOMAKER CRISIS AFFECTING MANY

GM CEO PETITIONS CONGRESS FOR $75,000 'TO HELP ME GET THROUGH THE DAY'

D.C. PREPARES FOR COSTLY INAUGURATION

CALLS EVENT 'TOO BIG TO FAIL'; BAILOUT FUNDS REQUESTED IN ADVANCE

BAILOUT PLAN CHANGES AGAIN

CONGRESS TO RE-DIRECT BULK OF $700 BILLION TO BUY PENNY WHISTLES AND MOON PIES

AL GORE PREPARES FOR SHIFT TO GLOBAL COOLING HYSTERIA

NEW CLIMATE CHANGE FILM "hturT tneinevnocnI nA" TO BE RELEASED IN MONTHS

OBAMA CAMP VETTING BILL FOR HILLARY CLINTON'S CABINET POST

ASKS FORMER PREZ TO CLARIFY CONFUSING MEANING OF 'IS' COMMENT

HILLARY CLINTON BEING VETTED FOR TOP SPOT IN OBAMA ADMIN

OBAMA AIDES COMB THROUGH CLINTON FAMILY DETAILS, FINANCES, GARBAGE AND HUSBAND'S GIRFRIENDS

COST-CUTING ACCELERATES AT NY TIMES

'NEWS' ORG CANCELS CHRISTMAS PARTY AND EMPLOYEE GIFTS; COMMEMORATIVE OBAMA PLATES TO BE RETURNED

GOP: NEW 'CUTTING EDGE TECHNOLOGIES' BEING CONSIDERED FOR 2012

WILL EXPLORE 'ELECTRONIC MAIL' AND PRODIGY'S CHAT TOOL FOR NEXT ELECTION

DEMOCRATS SEEK GM BOARD SEAT FOR BAILOUT PLAN

AUTO WORKERS UNION ORDERS MORE CHAMPAGNE, PARTY FAVORS

AL-QAEDA DEVELOPS LOW COST DIRTY BOMB

NJ TEST SITE PROVES INDIGENOUS POLLUTANTS EFFECTIVE

CHENEYS TO HOST BIDENS AT VEEP RESIDENCE

LYNN CHENEY TO HAVE TEA WITH MRS. BIDEN; DICK TO TREAT JOE TO 'SHORT BUT PRODUCTIVE' HUNTING TRIP

OBAMA ADMIN SEEKS ADVICE FROM McCDONALDS' FOOD TECHNOLOGISTS

WILL EXPLORE WAYS TO MAKE GOVERNMENT 'MORE ADDICTIVE TO THE MASSES'

REPUBLICANS PURSUE OBAMA'S WEB SAVVY

GOP TO 'EXPLORE THE WORLD WIDE INTERNET WEBS AND THOSE SOCIAL FROLICKING SITES LIKE MYFACE AND SPACEBOOK'

IRAN BRISTLES AT LACK OF LOVE FROM OBAMA

AHMADINEJAD  RECONSIDERS OFFER TO NEGOTIATE WITH NEW U.S. PRESIDENT 'WITHOUT PRECONDITIONS'

OBAMA TRANSITION UNDERWAY

CONSERVATIVE RADIO HOSTS MOVE STUDIOS TO 'UNDISCLOSED LOCATIONS', DECRY LACK OF CHANGE SO FAR

CHENEY AND PALIN COMPARE HUNTING TROPHIES

CHENEY UP 1 LAWYER, PALIN DOWN 2

U.S. RUSHES FOOD AID TO KENYA

SHORTAGE OF CATTLE, GOATS, CHICKENS REPORTED AFTER OBAMA VICTORY SLAUGHTERFEST

OBAMA WINS

KENYAN COMMUNIST WINS U.S. PRESIDENCY

OBAMA WINS

REV. WRIGHT ALLOWED OUT OF CLOSET; KEITH OLBERMANN CONFIRMS OBAMA AS FATHER OF HIS EXPECTED CHILD

DESPERATE McCAIN CHANGES SLOGAN WHILE SOME STILL YET TO VOTE

REFERS TO EXPECTED ELECTION OUTCOME, SAYS 'HOPE FOR CHANGE'

OBAMA SUPPORTER EXPRESSES BUYER'S REMORSE

REGRETS HE ONLY HAS 5 OF 21 VOTES LEFT TO CAST FOR McCAIN

OBAMA CONFIDENT ON EVE OF ELECTION

SAYS 'I TRUST THE PROLETARIAT... I MEAN THE PEOPLE - WILL MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION'

McCAIN TO USE BODY DOUBLE DOUBLE IN LAST CAMPAIGN EVENTS

WILL REPLACE SELF WITH 'YOUNGER, MORE ENERGETIC SEVENTY YEAR OLD LOOK-ALIKE THAT DOESN'T NEED A RED BULL IV'