Tuesday
PREZ CITES 'DISCOMFORTING ENTHUSIASM OF JIMMY CARTER TO SEE DEAL MOVE FORWARD'
PORT SALES RAISE IRE OF 'PROTECT-AMERICA' TYPES
AL QUEDA WMD TRANSPORTER BUYS SAN FRAN PORT, PLEDGES TO INCREASE SECURITY AT PORT GATES
Wednesday
CNN BREAKING: TOM CRUISE DIVORCE RUMORS 'UNTRUE'
FULL COVERAGE AT 8 EST; ALSO, SADDAM WMD SMOKING GUN TAPES SAID TO SURFACE
Monday
DENNIS KUCINICH MAILS SELF TO CAMPAIGN STOP IN WICHITA TO SAVE TRAVEL EXPENSES
PRESISTENT CANDIDATE CLAIMS TO BE 'CATCHING UP' IN 1999 DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY POLLS
AL GORE MAIMED IN HUNTING MISHAP
LOSER OF 2000 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION SHOOTS SELF WHILE HUNTING FOR MEDIA ATTENTION
Wednesday
HILLARY CLINTON MULLS STRATEGY TO APPEAL TO YOUNG VOTERS
RULES OUT SAXOPHONE DEMO, MAY CONSIDER MTV APPEARANCE TO UNVEIL BUTT CRACK TATTOO
IRANIAN PRESIDENT SAID TO BE PREPARING FOR NUCLEAR EXCHANGE TO WELCOME SHIITE MESSAIH, 'THE 12TH IMAM'
U.S. DEMOCRATS CALL FOR 'PEACE IN OUR TIME'
Tuesday
CORETTA SCOTT KING MEMORIALIZED AT ANTI-BUSH RALLY
REV. LOWERY AND FORMER PRESIDENT CARTER RELIEVE SELVES AT PODIUM
Monday
MICK JAGGER'S HIPS DEAD AT 97
AGING HIPS BREAK UNDER WEIGHT OF ASPIRIN PILL AFTER SUPERBOWL HALFTIME SHOW; LARRY KING JOCKEYS FOR STONES' FRONTMAN POSITION
CARTOON WARS RAGE ON
CINDY SHEEHAN SETS DANISH EMBASSY IN SAN FRANCISCO ABLAZE OVER PRO-BUSH CARTOON
WAR ON TERROR CARTOON RAGES
COUNTRY WHERE DANISH STUFF COMES FROM BURNED TO GROUND; DENMARKISH EMBASSY STONED TO DEATH
Sunday
BUD LIGHT COMMERCIALS XL UNDER WAY IN DETROIT
COMMERCIALS BEING BROADCAST TO MILLIONS; NFL REPORTEDLY PAYS $2.5 MILLION FOR 30 SECOND SPOTS
Friday
HAGAR THE HORRIBLE ADJUSTS WAR PLANS AFTTER DEATH THREATS TO CARTOONIST
WILL PILLAGE BERMUDA INSTEAD OF 'MUSLIM-LOOKING' FRANCE