SEN. KENNEDY OPTS OUT OF SENATE HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST

MASSACHUSETTS SENATOR SAYS FIRST PLACE RIBBON WAS 'AN UNWELCOME SURPRISE'

SCOOTER LIBBY INDICTED, HOPE REMAINS FOR ROVE INDICTMENT

JOE WILSON AND SECRET CIA AGENT VALERIE PLAME MUM, WILL 'RESERVE COMMENT FOR OUR NEXT APPEARANCE IN VANITY FAIR OR ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'

WHITE SOX CELEBRATE WORLD SERIES WIN

YANKEES' STEINBRENNER POSTPONES NEW COUCH PURCHASE, BUYS CHICAGO TEAM

HARRIET MIERS WITHDRAWS NOMINATION

CITES DESIRE TO 'POUR SOME COLD WATER ON THE WHITE HOUSE INDICTMENT ORGASM'; MIERS WELCOMES RETURN TO BOWLING, YARD RE-SODDING PROJECT

DARK DAYS AT THE WHITE HOUSE: SPECIAL PROSECUTOR INDICTS ROVE, LIBBY

EMPLOYED DEMOCRATS TAKE DAY OFF FROM JOBS, CITING 'NEW RELIGOUS HOLIDAY'

WILMA'S ONE-TWO PUNCH ROCKS FLORIDA WITH HURRICANE CONDITIONS, COLD

WET RESIDENTS VENTURE OUTDOORS TO ASSESS DAMAGE DESPITE BLISTERING 60 DEGREE COLD FRONT

MADONNA RE-INVENTS SELF AGAIN, DESPITE 'AGING PROBLEM'

REPORT: MATERIAL GIRL'S FACIAL LANDSCAPER HAS 'NO FIX' FOR NEW SETTLEMENT CRACK ON FOREHEAD

HURRICANE WILMA STEAMS TOWARD FLORIDA

LOOTERS, WELFARE RECIPIENTS EVACUATED FROM SUNSHINE STATE'S GULF COAST

CLINTON DENIES ROMANTIC INVOLVEMENT WITH FEMALE POLITICIAN

FORMER PREZ DISTANCES SELF FROM EMBARRASSING AFFAIR: 'I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN HILLARY CLINTON'

SADDAM PLEADS NOT GUILTY

AMERICAN LEFT WING: 'WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?'

KARL ROVE GARAGE CONTENTS FUEL CONSPIRACY FIRES

MOWER WITH GAS TANK AND OIL RESERVOIR ADDS WEIGHT TO CRITICS' HALLIBURTON CHARGES

SESAME STREET SACRIFICES STAR TO PROMOTE BIRD FLU AWARENESS

BIG BIRD TO EDUCATE KIDS ABOUT AVIAN FLU WITH ONSCREEN DEATH

HARRIET MIERS CALLS IN SICK FOR SENATE CONFIRMATION

DENIES FAKING BIRD FLU CLAIM TO 'SPEND MORE TIME LEARNING LAW'

ISLAMIC JIHAD MAKES PEACE OVERTURE TO ISRAEL

HOMOCIDE BOMBERS WILL OBSERVE JEWISH HOLIDAYS

DAN RATHER TO JOIN OJ SEARCH

CLAIMS NICOLE'S KILLER MAY HAVE BUSH MEMOS

SEARCH FOR MISSING LINK CONTINUES

SCIENTISTS ADMIST MICHAEL MOORE 'INSUFFICIENTLY FOSSILIZED' TO QUALIFY

G.O.P. SPLIT OVER MIERS NOMINATION WIDENS

REPUBLICANS: 'WE DIDN'T VOTE FOR GEORGE W. BUSH BECAUSE WE TRUST HIM, WE ELECTED HIM BECAUSE HE'S A GREAT PUBLIC SPEAKER'

WHACKO 'MICHAEL JACKSON' JACKO JURORS RECONSIDER VERDICT

JURORS: 'IF WE COULD DO IT AGAIN, WE'D EXECUTE WHACKO... AND HIS FAMILY'

KENNEDY BACKS RIGHT-TO-DIE WITH DIGNITY

SENATOR OFFERS PERSONAL SERVICES AS CHAUFFER

OREGON MAFIA TO GO LEGIT

ASSISTED SUICIDE CLINICS PLANNED STATEWIDE

DEM CHAIR DEAN: DNC WILL UNVEIL 'CONTRACT ON AMERICA' IN 2006

KEY ITEMS WILL BE UNIVERSAL ASSISTED SUICIDE, RELIEF FROM WAR ON TERROR, NEW MICHAEL MOORE DOCUMENTARY

HANOI FILM FESTIVAL DUBS MOORE BEST DIRECTOR

MIFFED KERRY WITHDRAWS HOME MOVIES FROM DISTRIBUTION

BUSH SUPREME COURT PICK MIRED IN SECRECY, SCANDAL

DEMOCRATS: 'OUR INVESTIGATION OF HARRIET MIERS MAY UNCOVER INVOLVEMENT WITH THE CONSTITUTION, HALLIBURTON, AND UFOS'

LOUISIANA POLS REBUILDING ON HIGH GROUND

SWISS ALPS FAVORED FOR BANKING CONVENIENCE