Friday
POLL: SEN. OBAMA WINS FIRST DEBATE, SUCCESSFULLY POSITIONS SELF AS 'BIGGEST BUSH HATER'
Thursday
DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES MIX IT UP AT DEBATE
DENNIS KUCINICH INTERRUPTS DEBATE TO ASK SEN. DODD FOR LOAN TO PAY LEASE ON CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS; BARAK OBAMA ACCUSED OF COPYING HILLARY'S 'BLACK VOICE'
DEMS SET FOR DEBATE
REP. KUCINICH: 'I'LL UTILIZE MY TIME SHOWCASING MY POSITIVE POLL NUMBERS AND COMPARING THEM TO 2003, WHEN THEY WERE NEGATIVE INTEGERS'
Wednesday
SEN. REID'S COMMENTS ENCOURAGE U.S. TROOPS
RETURNING MILITARY PERSONNEL ARE 'EMBOLDENED' BY SEN. MAJORITY LEADER, PLAN SEIGE OF WASHINGTON D.C.
ROSIE O'DONNELL LEAVES THE VIEW
PLUMP COMEDIAN: 'BARBARA WALTERS CRAMPS MY LOUD, OBNOXIOUS AND DISGUSTING STYLE'
Tuesday
BUSH RESPONDS TO DEMOCRAT'S PLAN TO LOSE WAR
BUSH THREATENS VETO ON SPENDING FOR WHITE FLAGS; SEN. REID ACCUSES PRESIDENT OF 'POLITICIZING HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS'
Monday
HILLARY CLINTON TALKS JIVE TO BLACKS AGAIN
NY SENATOR ATTRIBUTES 'STREET DRAWL' TO BLACK ROOTS FROM LONG-LOST MIXED-RACE UNCLE
Friday
SHRILL ALEC BALDWIN HARASSMENT VOICEMAIL TO DAUGHTER RELEASED
PRESIDENT BUSH: 'I MAY RELEASE ALL OF MY MESSAGES FROM HIM AS WELL'
Wednesday
ANN COULTER EXONERATED ON EDWARDS COMMENT
SEN. JOHN EDWARDS' CAMPAIGN TREASURER ACKNOWLEDGES 'ANN WAS RIGHT' AFTER CANDIDATE'S $800 HAIRCUT, EYELASH EXTENSIONS, AND BATH HOUSE MASSAGE
Tuesday
KERRY MULLS NOT RUNNING FOR WHITE HOUSE AGAIN
SEN. KERRY: 'ALTHOUGH I HAVE FIRMLY DECIDED NOT TO RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE THAT DECISION'
Monday
SILENCE...
PREVENT TRUTH DECAY PAUSES WITH THOUGHT AND PRAYERS FOR THE FAMILIES OF THE VIRGINIA TECH MASSACRE
Friday
WORLD LEADERS LINE UP FOR TIME WITH AMERICA'S MADAM SPEAKER
CUBA'S FIDEL CASTRO: 'I JUST WANT ONE DATE WITH HER BEFORE I DIE IN TWENTY OR THIRTY YEARS.'
Wednesday
DON IMUS FIGHTS BACK
RACIST RADIO PERSONALITY BANS MSNBC, RAINBOW PUSH COALITION FROM CBS RADIO PROGRAM
HILLARY CLINTON ACCEPTS OBAMA VEEP OFFER WITH CONDITIONS
NY SENATOR WILL RUN ON BOTTOM OF TICKET, IN EXCHANGE FOR DESK IN OVAL OFFICE AND 'FULL CONTROL OF PRESIDENTIAL RESPONSIBILITIES'
Tuesday
DNA TEST REVEALS ANNA NICOLE SMITH BABY'S DADDY
LARRY BIRKHEAD WINS MILLION DOLLAR BABY AFTER DNA TEST REVEALS HIS DISTURBING TASTE IN SEX PARTNERS
Monday
CBS RADIO AND MSNBC SUSPEND IMUS
SHOCK JOCK OFFERS IN-PERSON APOLOGY 'TO THOSE EXTRAORDINARILY TALENTED COLOREDS'
Wednesday
'GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR' MONIKER NIXED
DEMS OPT FOR 'OUR HOLY JIHAD AGAINST THE GREAT SATAN'S RED STATES'
MARINERS RELEASED FROM IRAN
MAMOUD AHMADINEJAD OFFERS RELEASE OF BRITISH CAPTIVES 'TO NANCY PELOSI, THE HONORABLE SPEAKER OF THE WHITE DEVIL'S HOUSE'
Tuesday
HILLARY STAKES OUT POSITION ON WAR
SEN. CLINTON: 'I SUPPORT NOTHING LESS THAN TOTAL VICTORY IN IRAQ, AS LONG AS WE REMOVE OUR TROOPS IMMEDIATELY'