Friday

DEMS DEBATE BUSH WITH EACH OTHER

POLL: SEN. OBAMA WINS FIRST DEBATE, SUCCESSFULLY POSITIONS SELF AS 'BIGGEST BUSH HATER'

Thursday

DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES MIX IT UP AT DEBATE

DENNIS KUCINICH INTERRUPTS DEBATE TO ASK SEN. DODD FOR LOAN TO PAY LEASE ON CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS; BARAK OBAMA ACCUSED OF COPYING HILLARY'S 'BLACK VOICE'

DEMS SET FOR DEBATE

REP. KUCINICH: 'I'LL UTILIZE MY TIME SHOWCASING MY POSITIVE POLL NUMBERS AND COMPARING THEM TO 2003, WHEN THEY WERE NEGATIVE INTEGERS'

Wednesday

SEN. REID'S COMMENTS ENCOURAGE U.S. TROOPS

RETURNING MILITARY PERSONNEL ARE 'EMBOLDENED' BY SEN. MAJORITY LEADER, PLAN SEIGE OF WASHINGTON D.C.

ROSIE O'DONNELL LEAVES THE VIEW

PLUMP COMEDIAN: 'BARBARA WALTERS CRAMPS MY LOUD, OBNOXIOUS AND DISGUSTING STYLE'

Tuesday

BUSH RESPONDS TO DEMOCRAT'S PLAN TO LOSE WAR

BUSH THREATENS VETO ON SPENDING FOR WHITE FLAGS; SEN. REID ACCUSES PRESIDENT OF 'POLITICIZING HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS'

Monday

HILLARY CLINTON TALKS JIVE TO BLACKS AGAIN

NY SENATOR ATTRIBUTES 'STREET DRAWL' TO BLACK ROOTS FROM LONG-LOST MIXED-RACE UNCLE

Friday

SHRILL ALEC BALDWIN HARASSMENT VOICEMAIL TO DAUGHTER RELEASED

PRESIDENT BUSH: 'I MAY RELEASE ALL OF MY MESSAGES FROM HIM AS WELL'

Wednesday

ANN COULTER EXONERATED ON EDWARDS COMMENT

SEN. JOHN EDWARDS' CAMPAIGN TREASURER ACKNOWLEDGES 'ANN  WAS RIGHT' AFTER CANDIDATE'S $800 HAIRCUT, EYELASH EXTENSIONS, AND BATH HOUSE MASSAGE

Tuesday

KERRY MULLS NOT RUNNING FOR WHITE HOUSE AGAIN

SEN. KERRY: 'ALTHOUGH I HAVE FIRMLY DECIDED NOT TO RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE THAT DECISION'

Monday

SILENCE...

PREVENT TRUTH DECAY PAUSES WITH THOUGHT AND PRAYERS FOR THE FAMILIES OF THE VIRGINIA TECH MASSACRE

Friday

WORLD LEADERS LINE UP FOR TIME WITH AMERICA'S MADAM SPEAKER

CUBA'S FIDEL CASTRO: 'I JUST WANT ONE DATE WITH HER BEFORE I DIE IN TWENTY OR THIRTY YEARS.'

Wednesday

DON IMUS FIGHTS BACK

RACIST RADIO PERSONALITY BANS MSNBC, RAINBOW PUSH COALITION FROM CBS RADIO PROGRAM

HILLARY CLINTON ACCEPTS OBAMA VEEP OFFER WITH CONDITIONS

NY SENATOR WILL RUN ON BOTTOM OF TICKET, IN EXCHANGE FOR DESK IN OVAL OFFICE AND 'FULL CONTROL OF PRESIDENTIAL RESPONSIBILITIES'

Tuesday

DNA TEST REVEALS ANNA NICOLE SMITH BABY'S DADDY

LARRY BIRKHEAD WINS MILLION DOLLAR BABY AFTER DNA TEST REVEALS HIS DISTURBING TASTE IN SEX PARTNERS

Monday

CBS RADIO AND MSNBC SUSPEND IMUS

SHOCK JOCK OFFERS IN-PERSON APOLOGY 'TO THOSE EXTRAORDINARILY TALENTED COLOREDS'

MEDIA: OBAMA SURGE 'WORKING'

SEN. CLINTON CONCEDES, OFFERS OBAMA AMBASSADORSHIP TO GHANA

Wednesday

'GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR' MONIKER NIXED

DEMS OPT FOR 'OUR HOLY JIHAD AGAINST THE GREAT SATAN'S RED STATES'

MARINERS RELEASED FROM IRAN

MAMOUD AHMADINEJAD OFFERS RELEASE OF BRITISH CAPTIVES 'TO NANCY PELOSI, THE HONORABLE SPEAKER OF THE WHITE DEVIL'S HOUSE'

Tuesday

HILLARY STAKES OUT POSITION ON WAR

SEN. CLINTON: 'I SUPPORT NOTHING LESS THAN TOTAL VICTORY IN IRAQ, AS LONG AS WE REMOVE OUR TROOPS IMMEDIATELY'

Sunday

DENNIS KUCINICH GAINS MOMENTUM IN WHITE HOUSE BID

ELKS CLUB SPEECH BOUNCE MOVES FORMER CLEVELAND MAYOR TO WITHIN 85 POINTS OF PRIMARY FRONTRUNNERS